Back to School

These last few weeks of August always seem like the end of the year to me, more so than in December. I see the hint of color in the leaves and know my children will soon be going back to school, another year older, another grade closer to college. We take pictures the first day of school, and I can still remember them walking toward the pre-school door, lunch boxes in hand. I love and hate September for exactly the same reasons, the return to routine, to work, to school.

Motherhood requires a continual letting go, trusting children to find their place in a world that isn’t always welcoming. I’ve learned to text-message, and because of this, I can hear from my children during the school day. Even with those annoying little letters I can barely see on my phone, I type my short answers: good, okay, home. Technology is on our side, allowing communication to continue throughout the day with very little effort. It takes the sting away of seeing them walk away and not look back.

That first day of school is difficult. I attempt to adjust to the quiet of the house. Eventually, I find my way back to my desk, to my world, and do what I can to put words on a page. My sister generally calls to find out how I’m doing. Her boys are older and she’s past this point of her life. She understands.

At pre-school and kindergarten doors there will be mothers crying, equally happy and sad, feeling this bittersweet New Year for the first time. As your child walks away and those first drawn pictures arrive with sunny skies and rainbows, know that you have done well, and can start a new adventure of your own. Good luck and happy New Year!