Welcome

I am so pleased to welcome you to the Mother blog. I lost my mother to emphysema, some seven years after her doctors told us she had six months to live. I admired her determination to prove the doctors wrong, but it was difficult being constantly on alert, never knowing when her life would be over. She didn’t want to die alone, so my family eventually kept a four day vigil, because even when the doctors told us she wouldn’t make it through the night, she lived a few more days. We sometimes had as many as twelve people at her bedside, and took shifts throughout the nights. She passed away in the company of five family members, but I wasn’t there at that time.

Shortly after her funeral I learned I was pregnant with my son. I truly consider that pregnancy a gift from God, because it allowed me to focus on the life growing within me. The first year was difficult. The grief would be triggered by something as innocuous as the smell of flowers as I passed shops on the sidewalk, a song playing on the radio, an article of clothing that reminded me of her. Suddenly, I’d be crying. I didn’t know what to do with the feelings. I wanted to speed it along the way I would when I had a break-up with a boyfriend. But it wasn’t as simple as cutting my hair, cleaning out a closet, or distracting myself with upbeat music. Perhaps, as much as I hated feeling the loss, I really didn’t want to let go of the pain.

I don’t think I really understood grief until I lost my mother. A lot of what I went through is in this book, the crying in the night, the lack of energy, the feelings of loss that come through both Mary and Cathy. I was especially touched by the kindness and compassion of strangers I met along the way, and found that this experience was not unique to me. I thought that was worthy of writing about. I hope you’ll agree. Please write me about your mothers, and the people who have touched you with their kindness.

Linda